Results tagged “California” from A Swede in SF

It feels like it is time to start on the list of "only in San Francisco" moments I have had.

1. Be careful when you hug a friend that you usually hug - he may just have been have been whipped at a show.
2. Be careful when you hug a friend that you usually hug - he may just have gotten a new tattoo all over his back.
3. The man you have a coffee with may have a second career in gay adult movies. Still not sure if he got upset that I didn't recognize him... My ignorance!
   

Yesterday I decided to get out in the sun and sit and read.

I decided eventually to return to one of my favourite gems of this city: the National AIDS Memorial Grove. I hadn't been there in some months, maybe a year, but it always strikes me as a such a tranquil and centering place. And it was just as nice this time with beautiful flowers, the maple trees. I just have to remember this place more often than I do.

In these times when the California economy struggles and the Governator wants to slash the HIV preventive money and money for the medications (ADAP) to support the people that cannot afford their HIV medications, the urgency of this memorial grove feels even more important. To some of my close friends in this city the removal of ADAP is a potential death sentence.

Last night I sent an email to the pastor that I leave the parish I have belonged to.

Dear Fr Steve:

It is with great sadness mixed with a sense of fury that I decide to leave as a member from the Most Holy Redeemer parish. I will still remain a "dormant" member of the Roman Catholic Church but in my native Sweden, in the cathedral parish in Stockholm (so I can get my burial the day that will be needed).

Following the Proposition 8 events here in California, and the involvement of the Catholic church, that made me take a step back from the parish already in November, and to denounce any outreach work from the AIDS Support Group. Yesterday's comment from Archbishop George and the other Californian bishops and archbishops following the California Supreme Court decision saying that my California legal marriage is one of the  'interim same-sex "marriages"' (California Bishops applaud validation) - it just makes it too much for me to bear. Over the years I have experienced ostracizing, condemnation, and seen hate because I am who and what I am. When I get this disrespect and ridicule from the leaders of my own church, I simply will not take it any more.

If that statement is an example of the respect Archbishop George called for in the wake of Prop 8, I am not impressed by their way of showing respect for the LGBT community - and in particular the married members in the church. Respect is something in my eyes that has to come from both sides, it is not something that is unilateral. Referring to an important moment in my and my partner's lives, which our marriage on October 7 was, to refer to that as an 'interim' event - and not even calling it a marriage but having quotation marks around it to make it less real - that is to say the very least disrespectful to me. I experience it as an example of ridicule of me, and the life my husband I lead and have led for nine years. Hence, I no longer want to be part of a church these bishops are leading in California.

I do want to take this opportunity to thank you, Fr Joe and Fr Donal for the work you do for and in this inclusive parish, and where your leadership is inspiring, compassionate and admirable. You have all showed me that there was a way to be a loved part of a Catholic parish, also as a gay man. For the first time in a long time, I felt that I was in a place where I was able to be who I really am. I felt at home from the first time I visited a Sunday mass in August 2006 as a newly arrived graduate student from Sweden. Thank you! I wish you and the parish all my best wishes and blessings for the future.

In the aftermath of the passing of Proposition 8, that defines marriage in California as the one between a man and a woman, still torments me and the LGBTQ community and our allies in. The blaming has in many cases focused on the role of the Mormons - the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints; the critique has focused on the involvement in another state's internal affairs, being involved in political issues (that an organization with their tax exemption shouldn't) - etc. Issues that have been raised is to question the tax exemption, boycott of business from Utah and a boycott of the Sundance film festival.

Today, the SF Chronicle - finally - brings out the role the Archbishop of San Francisco, George Niederauer, has played as the former Bishop of Salt Lake City: Catholics, Mormons allied to pass Prop. 8 Salt Lake City in Utah is the headquarters of the Mormon church.

I am sickened, angered, frustrated by the role Niederauer may have has played in this. This time he stabbed the members of his diocese by "ecumenical work" with the Mormons. A year ago, he visited Most Holy Redeemer parish in the Castro. He was all happy and nice then - until it was leaked to the conservative media that two Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence had been present. He then turned around and was appalled.

It's time that the Roman Catholic Church and the California Catholic Conference starts paying for their involvement and being 'pleased' about the Prop 8 passing, and a definition of "traditional marriage".

I'm sorry, George, but your actions have denied me equality with a "separate but equal" decision, and you want me to support and respect you?

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• Catholics, Mormons defend support for same-sex ban
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The results finalized a lot during the day today, and Prop 8 passed with 52.2% against 47.8% - a difference by 400,000 votes.

The consequences of this are both hard to foresee and estimate. The immediate result was that no more same-sex marriages will be performed. The question about the more than 16,000 marriages that have been performed remains to be decided - from that they are valid to that they should bee annulled. At the same time, the opponents of Prop 8 have sued to block the measure to take effect [SF Chronicle].

Tonight, a crowd of 2,000 women and men of all ages, queer and straight gathered outside San Francisco City Hall to hold a vigil over the lost vote. But the fighting spirit was there: "Yes we will!". [SF Chronicle]

Today, the Swedish Prime Minister, Fredrik Reinfeldt, today declared that the government will present laws and propositions for a new marriage law in Sweden from May 1, 2009. All parties in the parliament, but one - that also is part in the coalition government - are supporting it. [Link to the Swedish news paper dn.se][The Local's report in English] To avoid the problem with the Christian Democrats, the remaining three parties in the government will present a bill starting in parliament.

It's ironic to see that happening the same day as the Prop 8 looks to pass, and bring a ban on same-sex marriage into the Californian constitution.

I'm happy that we got a chance to get married in California - as party A & party B - the chance to tick a box for bride or groom wasn't there yet. Groom-groom, bride-groom, bride-bride - and it didn't say that the sex had to be the same as the gendered name. :)

"Using 'queer' is a way of reminding us how we are perceived by the rest of the world". It was true for Queer Nation in 1990 - and it seems likely be just as true in 2008.

Today's the day - will the proposition 8 pass, or not..? I do hope it isn't! The so-called Prop 8 "eliminates right of same-sex couples to marry", and adding the definition of marriage as between man and woman in California.

I spent a few hours at noon today on the corner of 19th Ave and Noriega St with signs that said "Vote NO on PROP 8!". I volunteered with the No on 8 campaign. It was great funk have the cars driving by honking at or waving to us.

We also had people shouting less pleasant stuff; "Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve", faggots etc. The most charming though, was an older Asian woman that was supporting a yes for this initiative and used the argument that there wouldn't be any babies - and no sex (sic!) - if same-sex couples were allowed to marry.

Friday, I was invited to lecture for 16 master students in gerontology at San Francisco State University (SFSU). One new line on the CV!
The talk was based on the pilot study I did last year.

First it was a bit nervous since one of the experts in my field of research was present during my talk. But the expert seemed interested and asked questions that built on what I have found - he didn't shoot me down!

The students asked good and interesting questions.

In an article in the SF Chronicle there is a critique of the "gawking" tourists, looking at the people living in the are like they were at animals in a zoo.

It is interesting when the gay life becomes the exciting and adventurous to come and see... What will be the next: safaris to the Folsom Street Fair?



On the other hand, gay marriages have become so mainstream in San Francisco that my local grocery store sells cards with same-sex couples in their wedding section.